Honor Killings in India
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A few days ago, a national daily newspaper reported the heinous murder of a newlywed couple who had been working in a software company and, evidently, had a bright future ahead. The couple had got married under police protection, anticipating trouble from their families (apparently different communities). It turned out that police protection wasn’t good enough to save the lives of two lovers who were, eventually, killed for having dared to marry out of caste. As shameful and as horrific it sounds, this gruesome killing (not the first of its kind though) took place in the capital city of India, Delhi.
Honor Killings
That’s what they call it in India when a young couple is brutally murdered on the pretext of saving the honor of their respective families. The crime for which they are punished (rather executed) is for loving and marrying someone who hails from a different community / caste. Ironic as it sounds, India is being viewed as a new face emerging on the global platform as a country that offers tremendous growth and business opportunities as of today. Perhaps, lagging behind all these years has turned out to be a blessing after all. Reminds me of the conventional hare and tortoise story. Slow and steady wins the race! As they say even the most potent political systems / governments / social systems have their own set of pitfalls, the downside in the Indian system is, most certainly, its entire social structure which, so blatantly and brazenly, shows in its dogmatic views, its hideous and heinous approach in dealing with problems of youth, its fanaticism, its gruesome attempt to curb the individuality of the younger generation and its intolerance and unacceptability of the changes which have crept in, due to intermingling of various cultures, in the wake of globalization.
Backdrop of Caste System – Ancient India
In olden times, Indian society was a victim of various evils, one of which was caste system. It is said that the caste system was designed with an intention of dividing the society into four distinct groups depending on the kind of work they were involved in. So to say, it was an easier way to assign different occupational roles to people; the motive was to ensure smooth running of the entire economic system. However, the division of society on the basis of caste system turned out to be the most horrifying milestone in the history of India as it lead to downgrading people on account of the families they were born in and the menial jobs they earned their living from. Simply put, the dignity of labor was lost and that reflects in the modern society as well. For decades, the poor belonging to lowest in the hierarchy (Braham-priest, Kshatriya-warriors, Vaishya-traders and Shudras-the laborers or the untouchables), were treated as despicable out-castes and were, mostly compelled to live on the outskirts of the village so that they couldn’t drink the water from the same well as ones from the higher castes did . Sounds terrible but that’s where the present society evolved from. No doubt, the caste system was abolished long time ago as a result of relentless and selfless efforts of countless social workers including a renowned Indian jurist and a political leader, Dr. Ambedkar (architect of Indian constitution) who spent his whole fighting against the social discrimination and caste system existing in India. Perhaps it was preordained that the man who would be responsible for eradicating one of the major evils in the society would be born in a family of untouchables . Thats who Ambedkar was, by birth. All for a reason!
Modern India –Caste System
One would wonder if things have significantly changed in India post independence, which was about six decades ago. Well, my friends and family keep drawing my attention towards scientific, economic, technological and infrastructural advancements the country has shown over the years. Alas, the package doesn’t sound interesting, especially, after knowing fully well ‘what lies beneath’. (Reminds me of a woman who loves wearing expensive make-up on her face without realizing that she needs to pay more attention to her decaying internal organs if she wants to stay healthy and naturally beautiful).
It’s sad to see that nothing much has changed socially; in fact, decades back, society was divided only on the basis of caste but today multiple factors are responsible for the social disparity. In modern India, it’s hard to find a person who would see himself only as an ‘Indian’. What has emerged after all those years of hard work, sacrifices and bloodshed during pre-independence era, is a totally chaotic modern society where people discriminate on the basis of race, color, culture, gender, states, religion and economic standards. I think it’s worse than being divided only on the basis of caste. What kind of a society permits the elders or so-called self-proclaimed leaders of a particular community to have a proprietary interest in the marriage of a young girl and a boy who dare to fall in love and dream of having a life together? I believe that a decision to spend the rest of life with someone should be purely personal (to bride and groom) and no one (not even parents beyond a certain extent) should be allowed to interfere in such important and sensitive issues. People who think that such cases are reported only in the Muslim community, have to pay closer attention to other parts of the world where such things do not appear to be predominant and remain hidden beneath the surface. For a ready reference I’m sharing this LINK with you and remember….this is only a tip of the iceberg.
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Thank you for this timely Hub Anjali.
All right-thinking people would strongly denounce the taking of innocent lives in the name of family honour. Nothing justifies the taking of life.
For people with limited knowledge of India, it must be said that there is a modern India struggling to find its rightful place in the comity of nations. There is also an ancient Bharat struggling to maintain what it views are rightful traditions, even if it entails the murder and blood-letting of close relatives. These social evils include the practice of sati, the caste system, curtailment of women's rights and others which continue to prevail, if in muted form in rural areas as well as urban.
Some time in the future, the modern must overcome the ancient. When that time will come is anyone's guess.
Anjali, i read that story and I was shocked, inspite of all the progress we have made, we still have a mentality of 15th century. Caste is one thing I can never fathom. Good that u shared this hub. Keep it coming.
Hi Marie! I would've called them sacrificial lambs if this had been a rare occurrence but interestingly, such killings have been on the rise, despite the advancement the country shows in other aspects. I'm not sure if I can call it a spiritual country as its hard to say if they know the difference between religion and spirituality, in the first place. Thx so much for your lovely presence.
Sabu Singh:
You're absolutely right. We can see that desperation to find its 'rightful' place in the comity of nations but as you said, there is nothing that justifies 'taking life'. No one can comprehend killing ones own children merely for the reason that they chose to marry out of caste. What era are we living in? Well, there are less cruel /less restrictive means to denounce an action / inaction of the younger generation. The parents, can, disown them, if they feel so offended. What ends are met with by murdering two young people who don't deserve to die. I guess, in India, there are no longer 4 phases of human life (as designed by Manu...Brahamcharya etc etc). On the contrary there seems to be just 3 stages of life...pre-marriage, marriage and post-marriage as everything seems to revolve around marriage there. It certainly is a serious issue in the Indian family system. One can imagine how much more progress people would have made if they had learned to focus on constructive things. Thx very much for sharing your valuable insight. Its always nice to see you stop by. :)
Hi Jay!
We need more of young people like you who can show some strength to fight the age-old dogmas of the society and build a better future for the country which it so well deserves. Thx very much for being a part of this hub.
The honour killings increasing in uneducated states like Uttar Pradesh, Punjab and Rajasthan. Law and Government should take preventive measures against the social evil.
we are indian by traditions& customs and bound by certain principles, norms to marry or make a relation. i suggest govts shld come with alegislation after consltations with appro before any rot or damage to our culture
I also did not know that caste system is so dogmatic and so rigid.
For years I was blessed to live in very liberal socialistic country (when Croatia was part of Yugoslavia), where people really did not know much about discrimination because of any of above mentioned reasons...(although some of people wanted to be "more equal" then the others so this nice but not perfect system crushed down and now we have chaos and overall discrimination as almost everyone else).
It is so sad to read about "honor killing". In this early morning my eyes are full of tears.
Honor killing speak about brutal slavery: families obviously treat their members as their property - otherwise they would not kill them just because of marrying somebody who is not from the same caste.
Thank you for speaking openly about this problem. I`ve learned a lot from your Hub.
Blessings, Anjali.
SEO Expert:
You're right regarding the states where such occurrences are reportedly more in number but the incident I referred to, took place in Delhi. What do you say to that!! Shockingly, such killings have alarmingly increased in the metro cities of India as well. So I'm not sure if its happening due to illiteracy or because the society has shown a steep decline in human values. Thx very much for showing up after a very long time.
Hi Tatjana!
I agree with what you say, especially, with 'families treating their members like property'. I don't think there can be a better explanation. Parents / elders think that they own their children just because they invested so much time, effort and money on them. Sounds like investing money in the Bank and expecting huge returns when the time ripens. Like I said in the earlier post that the society is showing significant decline in human values which is extremely shameful. Thx so much for your wonderful comments.
It’s hard to believe that such horrible practices still exist in today’s world. The family’s action is wrong on so many levels. How can they associate the term “honor” with killing? There is nothing honorable in taking a life to save face…
Nancy's Niche:
Its truly unimaginable. Thats why I always say that children born in the West should count their blessings. Well, there are pitfalls everywhere like I said in the hub but if they weigh their blessings against the odds, they would like to thank God for so many things which they are not aware of. Thx very much for your sincere and genuine words. I really appreciate.
I sometimes wonder if we're regressing Anjali. This - in the 21st century! Sad and absolutely shameful. The only bright spot I see in this whole thing is a free press that goes after these monsters. Oh yes, some do get away but many get what they deserve only because it's been reported.
Hi Shalini!
Yes, 'being reported' are the key words here as 90% of crimes go unreported. I too wonder sometimes what could've been the scenario if 'freedom of press' didn't exist. Media is the only thing which law-makers, law-enforcers and law-breakers are scared of. It tends to put a leash on the barbaric activities, which otherwise, could've been rampant in every nook and corner of the country(at least it has a minimizing effect).I'm so glad you stopped by. As I've mentioned many times, your presence adds value to my modest hubs. Take care.
That was horrific for the newlywed couple, one would think that we are in 2010 , it is very disheartening to learn that these things still exist in Inida. Thank you so much for sharing this information many of us did not have any idea this was still going on today. :(
AEvans: Its shameful indeed. Unfortunately, people like us can't do anything except condemning it. Its up to the law enforcement to take action but, apparently, they are worse than mute spectators in that country. Blame it on the corrupt system! Such incidents bring shame and disrepute to a country which is, ironically, known all over the globe for being peace loving and tolerant. Thx very much for your loving presence. :)
Thanks for an informative hub. One of the way change occurs is by exposure, so to speak. Also, it is easy for us to look at countries like India and be shocked, but similar prejudices exist even in America. Perhaps, we do not outright shoot the bride and groom, but we do our best to kill the otherwise wonderment of their wedding day. I don't have a lot of clients with this story, but enuf, to know, it exists, and it is amazing how many families do not approve who the person is marrying and then the way one or both families go out of their way to destroy the joy of the wedding day. The pain and the wound can last for decades and it's as crazy, in my mind, as the honor killing in the caste society.
Even in our society, there are still forms of prearranged marriages, and I outline them in my book.
There is also a film, Waters, which I really like and am using as a training film for foster parents. Maybe you are familiar with it. If not, check it out.
So again, thanks for shedding light on something most of us probably don't hear about.
Vrbmft:
I completely agree. Certainly, there are other cruel ways to kill without shedding blood. I've seen it too. The scars, as you said, can last for a whole lifetime. I think its worse than killing a person once for all. At least the victim doesn't have to live that moment over and over again in his mind, once he is dead. How complicated and difficult we humans have made this life!! Thanks a ton for sharing your valuable insight. I'll check out that movie you mentioned.
Hi Anjali. Thanks for raising this issue here. There is one more angle to this tragedy. This evil system has been rejected tooth and nail by vast majority of educated mass but a few 'hardened' minds who 'inherit' these thoughts inculcated in their minds right since childhood do carry these traditions 'blindfolded'. These people in fact are needed to be put under 'psychiatrist supervision'. I cannot repeat the entire story here that I had written on my website newsjyoti.com a few days back. So please don't mind that I put a link as this is the related story http://newsjyoti.com/2010/honorpsychos.aspx
boyjyoti: Its a pleasure to read thoughts of like minded people. I would surely go to your website tomorrow... being a Sunday. :) Thx for joining in.
These Khaps also have the nerve to justify their barbaric acts. They say "Killing is wrong, but these men and women shouldn't have run away in the first place!"
Implying what? That it's their fault? Kind of like blaming a rape victim for wearing "provocative clothing" no?
bhagwad: That was quite an apt example. Its very frustrating but no one seems to do anything about it. What else do I say!!! You probably know more than I do about the conditions prevailing there. Thx for sharing you views
For the past few days, I've been having an interesting discussion in the comment section with a guy who supports khap panchayats and their views: http://incognitocomments.wordpress.com/2010/05/30/
I don't know if you have the time, but I can guarantee you that it provides a good insight into the mind of some people :)
Hey Anjali, this is a very interesting and informative hub..I appreciate your style of writing and the way you depict your thoughts and share your knowledge...take care...
@MagicBoy: Thanks very much for your wonderful words. Its really encouraging. :)
This is a fascinating post. I suppose some change comes slowly. Not technological change—it comes swiftly and seems to be accelerating. Thanks for a good read.
Hi James! I try to write about issues that corrode the roots of our social system. Thx for appreciating this humble effort of mine. :)
Thanks to anjalichugh for highlighting a social evil in Indian society. No one thinks it good. But that does not happen all over India, which is a vast country having 1.15 billion population. Only in remote pockets, that practice happens, and the perpetrators commit it without the knowledge of even their neighbours. They know they are committing a murder and try to hush it up. But those affected somehow leaks the facts to the police.
It need not be taken as a scale to evaluate Indian society. There are 1000+ good things. Why not we look at them? Especially, you, Anjali, an Indian, should not bring disrepute to our nation from a foreign land.
Every teacher expects that his/her students should be obedient, intelligent and efficient. Every parent shall expect the same from their children. If and when those students/ children go on the wrong way, a way which cant be retracted, their anger crosses the limit and come to a conclusion. The court in the hearts of parents awards death sentence to the erring ones. And they are psychologically ready to face the consequences.
If a girl chooses a person who turns out to be a terrorist, criminal, a national traitor or uncompatible for her society after their marriage, how will she face the consequences. Logically, honour killing is good. But legally not.
Venugopal Sivagna: I'm not here to bring disrepute to the country and nor am I exaggerating facts. This particular issue was reported by almost all leading newspapers across the globe. I always say that everyone is different. Perhaps you can justify the killing of young children on the pretext of social norms....I cannot and I'm not sorry for not conforming with your ideology. Thx for your insightful comments.
You have not reported even a small portion of facts and so I wont say that you are exaggerating. Nor do I ask you to conform to my ideology. I have stated there that it is illegal and I dont conform to that ideology either. Something would have went wrong and it is the responsibility of parents to bring their children with good character. Killing them after they differ is an uncivilised act. But it will take another century to clear all these social evils.
I am a devout rationalist, in the path of South Indian reformer, E.V.R.Periyar, who has struggled all his life for the betterment of women and removal of social evils. So, you cant expect that I will support honour killings. But it is not the place to discuss social evils of India. It is a local soical issue.
(If killing the erring children is a social evil, the children choosing a wrong pair is also a social evil. It is better to obey the elders for their future safety. This is my opinion as father of three grown up well educated children)
Venu sir, you said, "Logically, honour killing is good. But legally not."
How can you even call it 'good' and what's the logic when you say logically??
Venugopal Sivagna: I am a mother too but I never impose my opinion on my child. The only thing a parent can do is to bring up a child in a way that helps the child in understanding the difference between right and wrong..the rest is up to God. In any case, upholding the social / local issue like killing children is nothing less than barbarism. It reminds me of stories I used to read in my early childhood about animals who eat their babies as soon as they are born. I believe humans are supposed to be different and much more evolved than such animals. However, you don't have to agree to with me. All of us, as I said, are on different levels of understanding / consciousness so we are bound to think differently. Thx .
Weblog: Thanks for taking time to read and contemplate. Your comments are always welcome. Feel free to come back. You might even get an answer to your question from Mr. Venugopal.:)
Web: Do you think children agitating against their own parents and going differently that too in a sensitive issue like marriage which affects our family prestige, is good? There are several ways of punishing the guilty, but uncivilised people only select the big crime. I have time and again said that honour killing is uncivilised, but law takes its own course and punish the killers. That is all. Think of arguing these things with those concerned with honour killings before they commit the crime. No one can control their anger at that point of time. They think that is the only way to save their tradition. Do we have any other alternative way... to save their tradition and honour?
Ms.Anjali, you live in America, but please dont lose your Indianness. You should, you must teach your children about our heritage, culture and civilisation. They should feel proud to be born to an Indian mother. You need not wait till they understand right and wrong; and later dont blame the god. (Let him rest in peace) I agree with your "barbarism" comment. It applies only to those who do it.
Even now, in a particular area of India, there are primitive tribes, who are cannibals, eating human flesh. What can you do with them? Can they understand your logic? They are also god's children like us. Which law prevent them?
Our logics should be applied wherever it will be honoured. Those who cannot even understand these logics should not be taken into consideration.
Venugopal: "Ms.Anjali, you live in America, but please dont lose your Indianness. You should, you must teach your children about our heritage, culture and civilization."
Among other things that my parents taught me was to respect elders which is why I'm not confronting you any more. I respect you for your age (but, unfortunately, not for your views on this subject). Speaking for Indianness...you hardly know anything about me but I know lot about India for having spent 2/3rds of my life in that (miserable) environment. So, let's not lay aspersions on each other without having a slightest idea of our individual (past) experiences. Also, my child knows what he should know. Thx for taking interest in this hub.
Well done Anjali in keeping your poise in the face of insinuations from the previous poster. I'd like to believe that this has nothing to do with "Indianness," so the other poster is certainly missing the point here.
I hope most Indians can unequivocally condemn such practices. I'd like to believe that most don't support things such as these, but if there are even a few of them who support this, hopefully better sense and wisdom would dawn on them!!
Let's hope for a better future for India in general and in respect to this practice in particular!!
Hi Shil: Its a great feeling to read your posts. There are few wonderful people here on HP with whom I feel so connected and... you are one of them. I have faced a lot of criticism on some of my hubs but I've tried to maintain my stand no matter what. I could hold on to my views because I strongly believe in what I say or write about. Thx for understanding and believing in me. In case you want to have some fun time reading the comments on some controversial stuff I wrote long time back, here are the quick links:
http://hubpages.com/hub/anjalichugh1
http://hubpages.com/hub/oshophilosophy
Happy reading !!!
The article poses a question and forces us to think on such issues.Yes there are cases. But there are also families who accept such marriages with a happy heart. People and society are slowly changing.Lets hope for a better tommorow for our country.
panda.nibedita: Yes, lets hope for the best. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Feel free to come back. :)
In the name of preventing honour killings, no one should encourage indiscipline in the society. If a killing takes place, law takes its own course and no one is spared. No one supports it. Even the government treats it as a murder case and the perpetrators are taken to justice.
But we should find a suitable mechanism to prevent inexperienced children going on their own way which usually ends up in divorce. The marriages should be registered only with the parents' consent and not by passers-by. Temple priests should perform marriages only when the parents are present there. Otherwise, it should be treated as illegal/ immoral.
The newly enacted laws in India states that no son or daughter can refuse to look after their parents, which means children should take full responsibility on their parents. Vice-versa, parents are bound to take full responsibility over their children's affairs.
I am pained to see women, who should uphold traditions and our culture are arguing like this. Are the tides going against the sea?
Venugopal Sivagna:
" But we should find a suitable mechanism to prevent inexperienced children going on their own way which usually ends up in divorce..."
I'm sure that by 'suitable mechanism' you don't imply that they should be killed. If that's not the intention, then we are on the same page. Speaking of ending in divorce....you've seen this world more than I have (presumably) and as such we both know that arranged marriages too end in divorce. Also, the % of such divorces are not less than those cases where marriages are performed against the wishes of parents.
Besides, you're missing the point. This hub focuses on 'brutal killings' rather than 'rebellious marriages' or their consequences. I'm glad you felt prompted to come back. Thx for the wisdom you share on HP.
"you are missing the point"...
You are missing the point I am stressing. There is no statistics for divorces. Just for argument, you cannot say all are going to court. In traditional families, only arranged marriages works even now. Rebellious marriages ends up in divorce or otherwise, including honor killings. Throughout my life, I saw two marriages, ending up in divorce; one for groom's impotence and other for lack of accommodative approach between mother-in-law and the bride. They are "arranged divorces".
Here, we are discussing rebellious marriages, ignoring customs, tradition, family prestige, etc., which arouse the passion of other family members on bothsides, who go to the extent of "arranged honor killings". My contention is both sides are at fault in these cases. Even if we cannot implement the customs, tradition, etc., we should morally support them.
Venugopal Sivagna:
" Even if we cannot implement the customs, tradition, etc., we should morally support them.."
You're free to hold the flag (of traditions etc), sir but you cannot impose your opinion on others. Everyone has a right of free speech and free thought. Besides, it seems like you are so desperate in making me agree with you (which is not going to happen). I can only say..."we both have said enough...so let it go." It was nice knowing you.
Dear Anjali,
good to see some strong woman in this field like you. first let us atleast not call them as 'honor killings' as they bring an unpardonable shame to the Gandhian-Lohiate-Ambedkar's ...land i.e., our India. they are ... you can fill a most dangerous/worst word in the blank.
next about Venugopal...'s view, though there are 1000 good things in India there are more bad things than that. just to name few, female infanticide, bride burning (10-15 thousand in a year), children/infants are being raped, untouchabality still practiced, wife (along with children) desertion, bigamy, wife beating, eve teasing, rapes and murders etc., not to forget communal clashes. I think Venu ji can think about these honorable practices of our India. Dear Venu ji, please read and try to internalize YOUR NATION'S Gandhi-Lohia's ideas and principles who said only the intercaste marriages and "sahapankti bhojanas" can destroy the caste based discriminations.
there were many community in Bharatha where in girl and boy choose their mates and live with them till they are comfortable together may be even life long. its a natural activity. In the name of tradition and custome people like you sopiled those age old parctices and made the life complicated. and for your kind information the arranged marriages are equally comming up for divorces, more than than most of the time wife will be killed, wife and children commit suicide, or they are deserted. even the maternal families cant invite them back as they had spend lot of money on dowry in those arranged marriages. very few are successful and married without dowry. please please be open minded. you don't have to lable a person in the name of caste or religion. instead you can see them as just a human by being humane.
And dear anjali sorry for taking it directly. I wish you all the best to bring awareness in the minds of people.
Akhila! I have to thank you for your upfront comments. Mr. Venugopal (just like u pointed out) feels that there are good things about India which people like me (living outside India)should highlight instead of exposing the worst. I wanted to ask him to name a few things which he feels is commendable about India, but then I decided against it. I'm sure he reads newspapers ...whats happening in the wake of commonwealth games is proving to be the last nail in the coffin...one of the most derogatory things for India on the global front. Anyways! It seems that he is trying to give vent to his feelings in a public forum which is acceptable to me, as everyone has freedom of expression. Who knows...he may have had to face similar issues in his family. His anger clearly shows in his words. We all have to learn to deal with situations but in no case, killing is the answer. Thanks very much Akhila for being a part of this hub. Feel free to come back.
Ms.Akila, thanks for commenting on my comments. No one's views will fully fit the views of others. I know this world from 1948, when I saw with my own eyes, a mother bearing a child in her hand and crying for "atleast water" for the child. She then will cry whether any one was willing to "buy that child as she could not protect it from hunger." Have we not advanced more than 1000 times from that era?
Then no one will beat, hurt or harm a woman if she keeps quiet. Coordination between husband and wife is a must if the family has to roll on. Due to illiteracy, and greed, women will not cooperate and men will beat the wife. Let us not go into that deeply. Ground situation may warrant such things.
One more last (I think) news for Smt.Anjali: Two days back, on 27-9-2010, an Indian tv channel telecast a footage shown in Saudi Tv. Some talibans catch a woman, beat her for going with an unknown man, and pulled her down. Then she was killed by throwing stones by he taliban men. That woman's last movements.... The scene was so unbearable that I shut down my eyes. Does this happen in our land? We are far better and civilised than those people. So be content with this dispensation.
I dont need to make you accept my views, because even my two daughters never accept my views. I am sure, when they mature, they will come to earth and accept my views.
Venugopal Sivagna:
" The scene was so unbearable that I shut down my eyes. Does this happen in our land? We are far better and civilised than those people. So be content with this dispensation.."
Your words remind me of a conversation between an Indian wife and her husband. This happened a year ago. Wife was venting out her greivances and husband was yelling back at her saying, "99% of women in India live suffocated lives...why can't you live like them? You think you're someone special and deserve a better treatment. If thats what you think, you're living in a fool's paradise. If you want to live in my house, you have to live the kind of life I give you. Take it or leave it."
Mr. Sivagna there is a word in English called 'assault' and I believe you know that assault can be physical as well as mental. Both are equally tormenting and life sucking but I guess, according to you (just like in the example mentioned above) women in India are supposed to be happy for not being stoned to death at least.
Thank you very much, once again, for your wise words.
Honor killings are legally wrong and logically wrong. Caste in India is a controversial subject. My partner is part Indian and suffers from having a low opinion of India due to certain things, many of which have surfaced in this Hub. I am sure there are things worth liking too. India is a country I do not know much about. But I appreciate this hub for enlightening me as to some of the "new ways" and the "old Ways" and how they can not reconcile their differences.
Sadly, there is no hiding the issues facing India. But from what I hear - private enterprise in India is the main reason India is such a thriving country. According to the media in the west, it is Indian Govt that does not work as well as private industry. India has a long way to go, but it is taking the steps. It will take a long time.
The best ways to deal with problems like honor killings is to always make sure the issue is exposed and dragged kicking and screaming out into the broad daylight. Which is just what you have done here. This is a great hub, and the comments above also tell us a lot too.
India has to become a society where people can live and not be afraid of confronting thorny subjects like these mentioned above. And veiled threats made in comments about women knowing their place is just plain silly. That crap was so last century! Great hub, anjalichugh. Never be afraid to call it what it is. You won a fan with me today.
Cheeky girl: I genuinely appreciate your intelligent comments. India is certainly creating ripples on the global front, especially, in the wake of Commonwealth games being hosted there. There are some good things about that country like food, music, culture, rising Sensex :) etc but the whole splendor gets somewhat overshadowed by the crumbling social system. In my opinion, survival becomes next to impossible when the key element (social set-up) is rotten. Again its my personal opinion and no one has to agree with it. Thanks a lot for taking time to read.
So sad to read about what some couples go through because of their love for each other. They lose everything. I hope it will change soon, but traditions are very difficult to overcome. Wishing you well.
Elayne: Yes it is sad. Lets hope things change. Thanks so much for stopping by.
I did not read article...
i suppose u not in support of honor killers ..//
I wuld say the opposite..
The girl's parents being in upper caste seem to be the most common situation these things happen...
If a girl marries some one of lower caste.., what happens.., all girl's family..kit and kin..sort of have to heed to the main family of the groom.
how would girls family move around the same caste extended family happily.. At times., the girl's family will not be provided monetary loans etc if they needed..
the girls family will loose little importance in the family circles ...
which is a total break of the highness they have so far...
how to regain highness again.. just discarding the weeds that's causing lowness...
I am not against honor killing.., it is natural reaction by these parents.. The parents r not gods for heaven's sake..
thanks,
anjalichugh, Thank you for the hub. You are a very strong person to realize these things and are not afraid to speak out (or to speak out in the face of fear.) You are beautiful and your courage and life are making an impact. God will always see us through. Even death cannot hold us captive. :) That being said, it is so sad that the world rages blindly, all think they are justified in their actions :(
Pradeep Ch: I don't intend speaking about caste system and its evils. This hub only focuses on the brutal killings and thats all. As I said in one of my earlier posts...nothing justifies killing. Parents can, at worst, disown their children if they don't approve of their actions. When you say that 'parents are not God for heavens sake', I'm sure you didn't mean that they get the right to kill their children. Thx for being a part of this hub.
Christiansister: I'm not sure if my life is making an impact but I try everyday to make it useful. You're absolutely right...everyone thinks that he is justified in his actions. We all go through bad / worse phases in life but does anything justify killing children and that too over the issue which I brought out in the hub? Doesn't seem right to me! I'm so glad that you stopped by and took time to share your views. I really appreciate. Keep coming.
thank u
Pradeep ch: You're welcome. :)
Thank you Anjali for writing this hub and bring this issue to the notice of all hubbers.
Maheshpatwal: Thank you for reading this and for appreciating the effort. :)
Anjalichugh, this is a great hub that you have written, and while Mr Sivagna has been his intimidating best, with an equally confounding argument, love your steadfast defense as a father to the two year old daughter. I do hope the learning of today stay with me in future. She, who is right now sleeping in my lap, will one day grow up and take at times, position contrary to mine, some time due to more knowledge than mine, sometime due to less than mine (I would always believe it would be latter), I hope and pray that I will always remember while incidents of disagreements may happen of and on, the little lady in my lap will remain the same person who brought to me the promise of tomorrow. God bless and keep writing.
Saket71: I should be grateful to you for having shared such wise words in this hub. Very few people know how to convey a message and be polite at the same time. Thank you.
I can understand your concern as I, too, am a parent but there's not much we can do except making them capable enough to understand the difference between right and wrong. I want to share with you some amazing words of a very wise man (Khalil Gibran) and I'm sure they befit the scenario.
" Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday."
Saket..You're wise enough to see the context. Thanks a lot for being a part of this hub. Keep coming back.
Your hub leaves many questions about honour killings and the caste system unaswered.
Safiq: May be. I couldn't possibly include everything due to space constraints. Thanks for stopping by.
such a shameful incident
Sonali: Yes it is. Thank you for stopping by.
You are ill/mis-informed about the issue and particularly biased about the issue.
Links to my other hubs
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VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 23 months ago
Anjali: I was aware of the caste system in India but didn't know how strict the culture is in not allowing a couple from different backgrounds to marry, to the point of murder. I believe we chose our roles in life, and perhaps this young couple were spiritual beings who chose to be the sacrifical lambs and who will bring global awareness of what is going on and change will take place. India is an awesome spiritual culture, so rich, so I am sorry to hear this! Its very sad.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts honestly.
Hugs,
Marie