Do I have a Split Personality Disorder?
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Split Personality
“No offense….but do you have some kind split personality disorder?” Well, I was asked this startling question by one of my friends a few days back.
I almost laughed my heart out while my friend kept staring at me, wide eyed. He almost made me feel that I had some serious disorder which I wasn’t aware of and needed immediate attention. It took me quite a while to control my laughter as it gets convulsive at times. I couldn’t believe what I heard. Here was someone, very closely associated to me, openly declaring that I had two people residing in my body and I couldn’t do anything except laughing it off. I had no idea what made him draw such an absurd conclusion about me and as such I thought of seeking clarification on his judgment.
“You behave weird. I feel I’m dealing with a different person whenever I meet you. Sometimes you look like an innocent, vulnerable and needy kind of a woman and the other times you completely change in to an arrogant, self-reliant and fiercely independent person. I don’t know who am I dealing with here.” He was trying his best to sound polite and I found that cute.
Surfing internet for answers
That night I did a little digging on the internet for understanding what exactly split personality disorder meant. This is what I found:
Dissociative identity disorder (previously known as multiple personality disorder) is a fairly common effect of severe trauma during early childhood, usually extreme, repetitive physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. People suffering from such disorders indulge in daydreaming or get lost in the moment while working on a project. It is a severe form of dissociation, a mental process, which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. Dissociative identity disorder is thought to stem from trauma experienced by the person with the disorder. The dissociative aspect is thought to be a coping mechanism -- the person literally dissociates himself from a situation or experience that's too violent, traumatic, or painful to assimilate with his conscious self.
Symptoms of dissociative personality disorder
Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct or split identities or personality states that continually have power over the person's behavior. With dissociative identity disorder, there's also an inability to recall key personal information that is too far-reaching to be explained as mere forgetfulness. With dissociative identity disorder, there are also highly distinct memory variations, which fluctuate with the person's split personality. A person may be able to switch from one state to the other within a matter of few seconds to a few days.
Along with the dissociation and multiple or split personalities, people with dissociative disorders may experience depression, mood swings, suicidal tendencies, sleep disorders, nightmares, panic attacks, sleep walking, deep seated fears, alcohol or drug addiction, auditory or visual hallucinations and even eating disorders. Other symptoms may include headache, amnesia, time loss, trances, and OBE (out-of-body-experiences). Some people with dissociative disorders have a tendency toward self-persecution, self-sabotage, and even violence (both self-inflicted and outwardly directed). As an example, someone with dissociative identity disorder may find themselves doing things they wouldn't normally do such as speeding, reckless driving, or stealing money from their employer or friend, yet they feel they are being compelled to do it. Some describe this feeling as being a passenger in their body rather than the driver. In other words, they truly believe they have no choice. (Information picked up from an article on www.webmd.com)
What causes dissociative identity disorder?
Researchers have established that as many as 98% to 99% of individuals who develop dissociative disorders have recognized personal histories of recurring, overpowering, and often life-threatening disturbances at a sensitive developmental stage of childhood. Dissociation may also happen when there has been insistent neglect or emotional abuse, even when there has been no overt physical or sexual abuse. Findings show that in families where parents are frightening and unpredictable, the children may become dissociative.
Diagnosis
Diagnosing identity disorder is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes it might take years to surface. Psychiatrists, most of the times, find it difficult to diagnose as it’s symptoms are more or less similar to other mental-health related problems like depression, anxiety, panic disorders etc. The patterns which are commonly found in such people are as follows:
· A person exhibits two distinct personalities at different times, each with a distinct enduring pattern of perception relating to his environment or his own self.
· At least one of these (in case it’s only two personalities) identities persistently takes charge over the person’s behavior.
· A person slips in to a state of unexplained forgetfulness and finds it almost impossible to remember certain important details about his life.
· In extreme cases, a person might even suffer from temporary blackouts, chaotic behavior or seizures.
There have been some Hollywood actors who have been reported to have suffered from identity disorders at some point in their lives which might as well explain how beautifully they portray such roles on the screen. Famous people with dissociative identity disorder include retired NFL star Herschel Walker, who struggled with dissociative identity disorder for years but has only been treated for the past eight years.
Walker even published a book about his struggles with dissociative identity disorder, along with his suicide attempts. In his book, he speaks about a feeling of disconnect from childhood to the professional leagues. To cope, he developed a tough personality that didn't feel loneliness, one that was fearless and wanted to act out the anger which he always suppressed. These "alters" could withstand the abuse he felt; other alters came to help him rise to national fame. Today, Walker realizes that these alternate personalities are part of dissociative identity disorder, which he was diagnosed with in his adulthood.
Statistics show the rate of dissociative identity disorder is .01% to 1% of the general population. Still, more than 1/3 of people say they feel as if they're watching themselves in a movie at times, and 7% percent of the population may have undiagnosed dissociative disorder.
Treatment recommended
Effective treatment includes talk therapy or psychotherapy, medications, hypnotherapy, and adjunctive therapies such as art or movement therapy. Often times the symptoms of dissociative disorders occur with other disorders, such as anxiety and depression, dissociative disorder and as such may be treated using the same drugs prescribed for those disorders. A person in treatment for a dissociative disorder might benefit from anti-depressants.
Coming back to myself
Wow! That was some bit of detail. I wasn’t sure if I could fit perfectly within the parameters of a ‘personality disorder’ or a ‘psychotic syndrome’ but one thing did happen……
“I kept looking at myself in the mirror for a long time.” LOL
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Some funny videos on split personalities
- The Little Grasshopper
Once upon a time in the heart of a city, Lived a little grasshopper, full of self pity; All day long she hopped from one leaf to the other, In an attempt to fly, her tiny wings could only flutter. ...
- Overpowering the Demons
This hub is totally opinion based and does not intend to influence anyone’s spiritual or religious beliefs. We might not be aware of their presence but the fact is that we walk among demons... - 11 months ago
- The Journey of Soul
It is said that a soul chooses its life path to learn lessons or to fulfill some unfinished tasks. I wonder if this journey …this burning desire to make things right …ends of its own at... - 16 months ago
- Freedom from Life and Death - Nirvana
“The One who gives you the most pain, is none other than (your) Buddha… as he is the one who helps you evolve”. Happiness in Austerity - Buddha I was introduced to the... - 18 months ago
- Love Must Go On - A Poem from Me to Her
This is a humble attempt to express my feelings for a little girl who wrote a beautiful poem for me last night. I didn’t give birth to this pretty girl but I have always treated her as my... - 19 months ago
- My Philosophy of Life - Live Your Life as if it were a Dream.
We all dream …consciously and subconsciously. Dreams have been interpreted by many across the globe; countless attempts have been made to decode the sign language and those bizarre situations... - 19 months ago
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Great hub....Great hub...I liked it...Me too! :)
Very interesting hub and informative...Good job!
The Videos are good also like the content. One Hindi movie was also there on this topic.
Hi Anj,
Yes, I see two personalities with you on Hubpages- the tough assertive woman who speaks her mind and well- the other best explained by you- "Once upon a time in the heart of a city, Lived a little grasshopper, full of self pity; All day long she hopped from one leaf to the other, In an attempt to fly, her tiny wings could only flutter" I love them both! LOL Maybe we can work on getting your two personalities a little more integrated- then again it might spice things up a bit if we leave them like they are. LOL
Hi Anjali,
This was so well done. I would add that dissociative identity disorder is much more treatable than is commonly assumed, and that outcomes tend to be consistently positive with the average course of treatment being 18 months to three years.
I think that part of the reason dissociation gets so severe in some people with traumatic abuse in childhood though is that no one really wants to hear about it or deal with it, so children are left without better options. Dissociating is actually their best bet, and then, when the abuse is over, hopefully they can get help to deal with the dissociation.
We all have different sides though and that doesn't make us mentally ill. Especially women--We are so socialized to be compliant and eternally pleasant that when we assert ourselves it scares people! (Sometimes even us!) If I had a nickel for every guy who thought there was something wrong with me just because I had a brain and a temper, I'd be rich!
Fascinating hub, Anjalichugh. I also find your friend's impression of you very interesting, but many men do find very strong women a challenge to comprehend. By the way, several mental illnesses can cause significant personality changes in individuals who are inflicted.
One of the biggest medical problems today is specialization? This applies to both medical and mental problems.
You would think that specialization would be better but what happens is that the specialist only sees their area of billing. In the last fifty years, diseases have been created and named based on the specialty of the medical practitioner. The specialist stop the diagnosis when a billing area is detected.
The problem is that the brain and the body work together and science really doesn't have all or even most of the answers on how it works. Separating the mind from the body is the first big disconnect in the health field that causes a problem with treating patients. It is followed by breaking up the rest of the body as a billing template.
Classifying a billable treatment is not the same as providing a cure for the malady.
The point of my comment to your hub is that you talk about identity as an entity that is capable of classifying for the purpose of solving the problem. It is not and it never has worked that way in the past.
Identity and Personality are relational but not identical.
The bottom line is that putting a name on something just puts a name on it. Understanding and fixing something requires much more than a name, especially if you mis-identify the problem with the wrong name.
All people have more "personalities" inside - or better saying they change behaviour and masks according to different situations.
Ha, ha, ha, you are very far from disorder....
This is the time for the healing of the shadow. We all have a shadow self which enabled us to survive our early lives. This can be the victim, vulnerable self, the comedien, the bully, the cut-off reserved self, most people have a few different facets to their shadow and bring them out on different occasions. Healing this shadow and becoming our integrated authentic self is part of our journey. I feel its really good when someone points out to us what they are experiencing from us. I wonder did you ask him what he was experiencing from you at that moment?
By the way love your sacred sexuality chakra hub, great detail, I have followed the Mantak Chia Taoist way myself.
This is a wonderful hub of a disease that truly exists out there. I feel so much for people who have had very damaging pasts, who turn out like this. Thank god there is a thing called healing, and a thing called miracles, that can see our lives heal from the tragic things that happen to us...xox
I am new to this, i am trying to come to terms with it, its hard. i cant live with anyone anymore, i have pushed all my family away, and friends, an none of them know, i mean how u meant to tell them there is someone else, two of u , they would just think ur coo coo. Maybe they will understand someday, if not tuff, il beat it myself.
I thought you article was great, then I found your replies were equally as deep...right on girl!
I cannot count the number of times in my past where close friends have been upset with me and when I asked what happened they told me of stories that I just could not believe because they are so far out of my normal character. I once had a group of women come up and yell at me for the way I treated my girlfriend at a party I was recently at. I have no memory of even dating the girl (who was a close friend until she inexplicably stopped talking to me about a week before the confrontation) let alone treating her poorly at a party.
Perhaps my greatest fear in life is that I may wind up like Jay Anderson, and push all my friends and family away. It may only be a matter of time until my fear of being alone loses to my fear of hurting those around me with actions that I don't even remember making.
I am glad you made this hub anjalichugh. I hope it will become a place where I can come, read some new comments, and not feel so alone in the world.
My minds always war against each other.
"I'm fat"
"Eat the cake"
I like laughing uncontrollably
uncontrollable
adjective
1 unmanageable, out of control, ungovernable, wild, unruly, disorderly, recalcitrant, turbulent, disobedient, delinquent, defiant, undisciplined; formal refractory. antonym compliant.
2 unstoppable, irrepressible, ungovernable, unquenchable; wild, violent, frenzied, furious, mad, hysterical, passionate, out of control.
It's true. In order to obtain anything in life we have to get our own minds in one accord.
Thanks for having me. I love all your hubs
I have a spilt personality, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I am only 14 though, that is what I am afraid of. See Skyla is my other half; my real name is Julia Sorensen. I have been though a lot, emotionally and physical, so I know why I have it, I am just curious if I am going to have it for the rest of my life, not having it being treated by professionals? Thanks for the help.
I am so deeply sorry about that comment Julia Soresen posted, it was out of line, and i send my deep apologies. See Julia does not need any help. I have it under control, I'm sorry if she bother anyone.
I am Wondering if I was thinking of something deep or a decision to make there is a voice saying things about it , and it's negative...
I am very worried about it, myself... and sometimes I would do something that I am not suppose to do in the past...
then I will ask "W-WHAT DID I JUST DO?!"
or the people ask me WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU SAYING?!
they are all shocked...
please email me at clara_zerna@yahoo.com
very good article.i have also similar type of problem.and i feel more than two behaviours in myself. but it occurs only when in loneliness not in public.
I have anger management at school I am only 14. At school I can be all nice as pie then the next like today I chucked my books on the floor and turned the table upside down, I can not controll it my teacher said it has been going on like this since 2 years but I have had anger problems since I was 9 years old. I harm my self, I have panic attacks && I always feel depressed I just don't know what to do tbh.
oh i think so me time i do different type of things i walk alone 5 km herethere in a hot situation and dng nothng some time i feel myself different man i do diffeent things also i think since my birh a mAN INSIDE ME WHOME I TALK WITH HE TELL ME EVERYTHGNG SOMETIM I GO SO ANGRY MOOD SOMETIME IN VERY GOOD MOOD SOMETIME I EVEN TRY TO KILL MYSELF
the wierd behavior about the arrogances and inocence sounded like me when i was 6 i have very vague memory but i remember alot of black outs im 16 now and peacefully get along with my split personaliity though i want to learn more about her wich is why i looked this up i even named her riho we get along ok but we have our fights occaisionally
Hi my names are many on here i use the name George. I have Dissociative identity disorder. This is a very complex post traumatic shock disorder caused in my case by Satanic Ritual Abuse, Sexual, emotional physical in fact every type of abuse you can and can not relate to.
It is an horendously difficult life trying to manage all the people who live inside me and there are still parts of me left to emerge.
I am in therapy which was hard to find and is even harder to go through. My aim is to merge and become whole again. however long this takes. and ive been working at it now for ten years!!
Abuse goes on and on because no one gets involved people turn away to the truth of the situation.
the society we live in is run by these abusive people it is very carefully planned and ocestrated with a supply chain of children who endure torture and abuse. who is going to help them survive and escape??
For me it was my Alters all 23 of them and counting. They range in age sex and appearance and all were created to help me survive - you have to take your hat off to the human brain and the souls will to live when you examine this condition.
But i wouldnt wish the life i have on anyone there is no peace no freedom and time is never on my side i have lost everything becuase of the abuse i have no family no support except my counsellor - all i have left is my will to create a future for myself and this feels impossible when the past lives on inside me replaying in my mind at random the things i witnessed and ezxperienced.
Your hub is good - but i found it really failed to express the anguish that having this type of illness encompasses but thanks for raising awareness of this illness.
Best wishes
George
I think we all have a little bit of a split personality disorder, the problems only really occur when the situation becomes extreme. We can't all be happy and upbeat all the time, there are periods when we feel a little bit blue. There are also days when you can be in a good mood and days when you are in a bad mood, and you don't really know why. Just have to remember that every situation is temporary and one thing you can be sure of, change is but a few moments away. So why worry about it?
Of course the situation George has described, no one should have to endure and I wish him well in his treatment.
i think i just had a split personality disorder awhile ago. you see, i was chatting with my boyfriend when suddenly i sent some rude messages i wasn't aware of..i can't remember myself typing those messages since we're having good conversation..it lasted only a split second..i experienced this a year ago when someone i dont know sent me a message on my phone asking me why am i calling..when i checked my call log i saw that i called him a minute before i received his message..that was so weird.. since no one ever touched my phone that time..
hello everyone
I joined expressely because i saw this hub
my current girlfriend says i have multiple personalities disorder. she says ,there's at least two of us in me.
she says this because i often am very loving, i love her and i think she might be the One, I care for her.
Then every once in a while another me emerges, and this me wants to run away, stay by himself, or chase other girls. Badly. He needs it like the air I breathe.
And I feel this evil one is the main guy.
when she tells me the loving things i told her i (distantly) remember it and i find it almost unbelievable, that is if i am in the latter state of being (the evil one).
She once wrote me a nice loving letter, my main reaction was to kiss the letter, and say I Love You. But then if she calls me on my cell phone, I'm not happy to answer.
Yet some other times, I want her to call me real badly.
so I say, WTF? Do I need a doctor or am I just a plain bastard?
how can we come to that we have a split personality ?
Hello, i here about the Split Personilty, and i wonder is this normal to have this, i mean im kind while my other is really smart and mean also what happends is ill black-out and wake up the next day, like wondering and asking my other questions, its odd but im able to communate with my other in my mind somehow, if you have an answer for me i would be happey to hear it.
No you cant go telling people about us Alan K, it could couse me and you great danger, so DON"T DO IT AGAIN!!!
(sigh, im not going back to an Insane Asylum)
Split Personality:tendency to mood swings. a tendency toward erratic mood or temperament changes
The same thing happened to me! Today my friend said that I seem to change personality every day. Except I didn't laugh, I just stared at him with a blank look for a few minutes.
Dr. Bill Tollefson who specializes in PTSD and DID just published a hub about this condition. I would highly recommend it for anyone concerned about such matters.
okay so im 16 and i have this. am i going to be normal?am i going to be able to fall in love??? im scared.
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Hi I suffer from split personality and it is a real issue. I can go days and not remember anything I did or conversations I had. This is not a laughing matter. Do you know what it;s like to wake up and realize you've lost hours or even days of your life with no memory what you've done or said. Childhood trauma sexual abuse, brought this on. So I know if anyone is suffering from this it is for good reason. So please don't laugh at us.
OK CAN SOMEONE answer me plz im a teenage girl with spilt personalities...........just like shanna i dont remember the coversations i have and it gets to be a real problem...my parents knw i have this but they still get upset wen i dont remember wat ive said and done. HELP
I have really appreciated the comments and insight here. I really feel helped. Whilst I do not have this, sometimes I feel like I do but I find its external pressures outside of my control that bring on different behaviour or feelings. I also believe that we are all constantly growing and we are becoming stronger each day so therefore our reactions to the same situation may vary on a different day because we have grown.
I feel that people are really unkind or thoughtless towards others sometimes and that some compassion is needed, which is hard in this ever changing environment where its all rush rush...My plan is to head back to the country where I'm not forced into these societal expectations, of being compliant and eternally happy and pleasant (as Pam wrote). Whilst I enjoy having those feelings it wouldnt be life without both ups and downs...all the best lovely people. and where do u do ur reii healing I love reiki it is so amazing
My husband has this disorder, But his other personality is dangerous. Extremely angry from going through all kind of abuse as a child. He is medicated for it, But always having to make adjustments. very hard thing to live with.
How a place for people like me. How many me I don't know. My therapist could tell you. I am someone else right now. I feel so all alone. I wasn't earlier when Him and I took a bubble bath. She called him to do that I didn't. She always gets us in trouble. We don't need that.
I am not sure but i think i have split personality in me. Normally m very calm person but when something happened which i do not like then my entire boby changes. I can feel changes i my body like increasein heart best, Warm kind of feeling in entire body, restless and i start abusing the person very badly with whom i am angry. Is this the symptons of split personality.Plz guide me.
Wow after I read that I felt I have 2 of me
I just realized, I also have split personalities. My guy friend just told me over the phone that I sounded like 2 different people. I didn't even be aware of it. However, I knew that I had 2 personalities. My 1st one is the shy side of me but my inner self is actually very opened up. Like, I show either one personality or the other, depending who I am talking with. I find it weird, that I have two sides of me. Why is it, that I show one or the other personality to different people? I'm really confused...Howeve, both of my personalities are shy and soft. I don't have a angry personality. It's just that my real personality is the more opened one. However, it's like my opened personality won't come out and reveal itself with certain people?? I'm really confused. If some one can explain to me, email me back plz, as I'm really confused. Email: its_destiny_@hotmail.com
wow for years now my mind has been telling me that it not real but ive slowly realzied it is due to the fact that my father had hunington's career an he became very sick like he wasnt in control of himself no more i'de say around the age of 6 years to 11 years old i had a half a brother that was 14 years older than me used to be extremly jealous of me an resented me he'd kicked me in my ribs a few times after he came home from the marines an i also hav a younger full blooded brother that was exactly 5 years younger then me an our father used to take out some of his anger on him growing up in environment was a nightmare watching my farther slowy become more cripple,would hardly take a shower an sleep on the couch the majority of the time an pissed at the world somenights he'd wake us up by brakeing the doors down an making my mother cry an scream he killed our dogs with a golf club he was very perverted and forced my mother to have sex with him at times an if she rejected him he'd go masturbate out the living room window an he put my mother in debt cause of credit card an cellphone bills an put our house up for sale we then hav to live at our grandparents house my grandmother was some what of a tough lover women she'd beat us if we didnt do school work,my grandfather was my bestfriend so intelligent and had the biggest heart in the world one but he had some what of a country kind of nature i'd help raise animals an we would butcher them then prepare them for for food,oh btw my mother has a std from her first husband an her first love during her teenage years raped her of her innocence an momma was always a strong an independent woman she was a manger for 20 year or i gave up beleiving in god ,i am now 21 so she's the only one who inspires me to not slip an slide into this big gapping Darkness that constantly consumes me everyday so i guess ive become more self controlled "do i have a split personality"?
basically as long as its been ive constantly wreaked havoc on john's life(from school life to the authority to social life an whats left of his family) like a raw defensive mechanism gone bad im his own worst enemy an he is mine an as much as he thinks he can dominate me he cant because he knows in the back of his mine that i am his back bone an what gives him the strength to get up out of bed everyday i am the hate that he wont embrace i am the virus of his life john cant fight me forever he truly belive's that he can.. the biggest thing me an john have in common is his thirst for Revenge against those that has betrayed him because of his kindness which i think is pitiful, sad part is that ive never fully emerged from his prison ,he cant act like i dont exist forever what he dont realize is the more he represses me the more he makes me angrier an more impulsive on his life in general. we can only save ourselves but which one will we be saving thats the question..?
I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life! It was horrible. I never knew my eyes could water so much and then I thought of something happy and completly changed moods! It's unreal how fast my emotions change and my friends notice it but they think its pretty amazing tbh haha. I just hate the different emotions I get like inpatient swings and extremely happy to major depressed, I don't understand! but see after reading this, every single bit, everyone else's commets I suddenly don't feel like the only one who has something like a split personality. This has actually made me feel 100000000 million times better. Thankyou so so much :)
hey anjali, i wanna know that is split personality could happen to a child.
She is a girl about 12-13 years. Is MPD possible in a child?
at least twice a year i loose my temper and get very aggressive and violent. When this happens I do not recollect what ticks off the violent part of me however my temper is always on the higher side. I seriously need some help as this is ruining my family and social life.
i need a professional help i am admit that i'm suffering for a split personality right now...this is my e mail... alvinmagayaga@yahoo.com i will kindly appreciate your help......:( :)
pretending to be a psychiatrist and treating patients for issues you have no idea about is a felony in every one of the fifty states. there is no such thing as email therapy for DID.
also, dissociation does not have a correlation to psychosis which is an entirely different illness. and I didn't read enough to see if you also tried to link it to parnoid schizophrenia, but that is unrelated as well.
I seriously hope you are not practicing medicine without a license on ill readers, particularly when you don't know anything about dissociation, plagiarised sections aside.
anjalichugh..we're the same but in my case i do think i have the dissociative personality disorder...when i had talk to different person i have different personalities ..but if my other seems kinda abusing by anyone...i just don't know i do switch opposite and dominant...my other personality is fragile,innocent, frightening, crybaby and kinda unpredictable and emotional...when i see that one is kinda abusing there's something in my self actually making a sermon and rebellious, my other self always telling me to fight that i'm not gonna let anyone bully me like that or treat me with arrogance and then for a second then i feel i just switch to that and i become kinda activist, dominant, and arrogant too.
You know its so amazing. Recently one of my friend told me the 'exact' same thing! And I surfed the internet just to find out what he meant by split personality. And after reading it i was just relieved. SP is a serious medical condition while mine can be attributed to me being a gemini(twins). I forwarded this article to him and we both had a good laugh about it. The thing that is so weird is that i underwent the same situation as you.
This is verry helpfull. I have multable personality disorder, and this helped me alot. Whats cool about me is every time one of my personalitys take over, one puple in my eye gets hurg, and my other stays small.
I have split personality I have been living a double life for 35 years and managed to hideo it from everyone not 1 Pearson new . Not even the the people who loved me the most it was not until I got found out that I started to look at my self . When I read your blog I see lots of trats in me . Thank you for the information . Helps a lot .
uhm hello. i am 21 years old from the Philippines. and i think i have a split personality disorder, well i'm not sure of it yet, i don't have any childhood abuse or sexual abuse, but for the last 2 or 3 years, i think i have experienced a panic attack, due to horrible experience i've encountered, I.E abortion of my own child, outcast from family, self pity. its like post traumatic disorder. then after that i've been depressed as hell, i'm very angry with myself,its like i want to detach myself to well myself (it's confusing i know), ive got suicide attempts after that incident, then i felt emotionally numb, i dont care when i broke up with my girlfriend, i dont care of my future, i dont care at all. i dont feel anger or even lonliness anymore. i'm struggling that problem for almost 2 years now (well i'm not sure about it because i cant remember a thing what i was doing for that past 2 years), then lately i just felt like someone inside me wants to get out, like when i am lonely or angry. its like someone wants to shout or punch or kill people, and i am afraid of him/her. so because i felt that already, i always control myself and deal the situation with a smile. then a while ago, i just burst out, its like my body was shaking and i blacked out. after a few hours. when i had my consciousness. i was sitting beside my laptop and i was shocked because i chatted somebody, when i read the conversation, i just figured it out that he called himself as "jason". and he was totally an asshole, he wasn't afraid of anything. and he was angry with me (Alex). he said i was weak, stupid and afraid of everything.
Now i dont know what to do, i told a couple of friends about this because they know what i'm going through. and they told me that i need help from a professional psychiatrist. but i'm afraid to consult to a doctor, because i'm afraid to go to a mental hospital. and i think this "jason" whoever he is, he can do whatever he wants once he was in charge of my body. by the way, i have a feeling that when i am lonely, angry or any strong emotion i might encounter in the future to the point that i can't conrtol it, thats the only time when jason will overcome me.
nice hub by the way! i really like it. good job!
hello.....my name is isabel,12 years old and i think i do have a split personality,cause one time i was with my mom watching tv a few months ago and i fell asleep on the bed by her and then i found myself on the living room couch the next day and i asked my mom why i was in there,she got really mad and said"dont talk to me after all those bad words you said to me'...i was confused and then i watched a movie about split personality people, i googled it and explain how it happens and why,and i do suffer alot by being very disolate and lonely by losing some friends and a sister by car crashes and stuff,and i was abused when i was small,and the wierd thing was whenever i get really stressed or lonely my hands move all of a sudden or my shoulder and back twitch and i get really furios with myself wich causes my friends away and i get lost in thought too much and somehow freak out when i get consciousness and now im apperently im having mood swings,loneliness and siucidal thoughts...and im sorry i just need to explain my problems to somebody and let off the steam but ido hope you understand
- Breathing....The Right Way (Part-2)
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VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 3 years ago
I chuckled out loud at your comments that your laughter tends to get convulsive because I tend to laugh without restrain when something tickles my funny bone.
Its amazing how the mind and emotions can be... I find it incredible that some people with multiple personalites can even change their eye color, it goes against what science teaches us. As for your friend, could be he is probably not used in seeing gentleness and strength in the same person; both are perfect expressions in a balanced human being.